Woundedness

At Pentecost stand all members of the “Jesus Movement”-- few in number and weak in voice. But out of the clouds come roars of sound and violent winds. Flames of all sizes appear and spread from one Jesus Freak to another. One by one they speak in the languages of every tribe. One by one they get the attention of the people. One by one they talk about God’s power and draw a crowd to hear God’s message.

But not knowing whether to be horrified or astonished, antagonistic pilgrims hold up their hands and shout, “Wait a minute. Aren’t all of you Galileans? How in the world do we hear our native languages being spoken?” Then hostile skeptics in the back shout, “The pilgrims are right. These crazy fools, these disciples are all drunk!”

What’s going on here? The pilgrim crowd is attacking the disciple’s home community. The skeptics are attacking the disciples’ character defects. Both groups are trying to dismiss the validity of the disciples’ message. Imagine you are standing to preach and someone stands to tell you that you are wrong or you aren’t worthy to preach.

As a minister, you get wounded. “People constantly try to hook your wounded self. They point out your needs, your character defects, your limitations, your sins and use them against you. This is how they attempt to dismiss what God, through you, is saying to them.” (H. Nouwen)

Look at Jesus’ followers at Pentecost. Do you think they have lived their lives with no wounds? No! Of course they had’m. They followed their leader for three years and never understood more than half of the things he said. They denied him. Ran from him. Fell asleep on him. Rebuked him. And remained silent because of fear in them. There is not a group more undeserving to inaugurate the spirit than these followers. Yes, they had wounds. Yes they had shortcomings. Yes they had character defects.

As soon as they started speaking people tried to shut them down by dismissing them for who they are and what they are thought to be.

The voices of the crowd are the same voices that attempt to wound us by saying,
You can’t do ministry. You’re a woman – who are you to lead me? You aren’t Southern Baptist! You are homosexual. You’re too Republican! Who are you to lead me? You’re black! You fear technology is hurting the church! You aren’t a Republican! Who are you to lead me? Your seminary’s theology is wrong. You aren’t Calvinistic. You had sex before you were married! Who are you to lead me? Your parents are poor; you voted for Bush, you don’t drink. Who are you to lead me? You think Jesus is the only way to heaven, You have HIV. You believe in a literal Satan. Who are you to lead me?

All of these voices of the crowd are the same voices that speak negatively to us about God’s ability to use us. These voices wound us. They are the voices that handicap our willingness and confuse our vocations.

These voices might as well be saying, “You aren’t worthy to be child of God. Your sins, shortcomings, sexual failures, drunkenness, apathy, licentiousness, loose tongue, pride, and drug addictions are too severe and too poisonous for anyone to ever listen for God through you.

And temptation arises from our shattered egos, insecurities and doubt, to begin believing in “their” definition of us.

Woundedness has a way of making us give up on our calling. If this is you (someone who has given up on your calling due to other's opinion of you), then hear me say:

You are a child of God -- flawed -- but loved nonetheless and you have every right to pursue after God with all you are and to attempt to choose a life that makes you feel whole.

Woundedness doesn't have to be that which handcuffs you; rather, learn to own your woundedness and allow it to transform your ministry as a flawed, forgiven child of God.

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