When We Need God the Most

Without saying a word, Jesus opens his hands and then his shirt to show the scars he wore from the beating he bore three days ago. They were deep and painful. The blood is no longer staining his flesh but the holes are there. You can see through his wrists, and your stomach turns when you see his side.

The stillness of this moment is louder than any sermon preached in history.

Standing before the disciples is a man that dared to bear the deepest wounds in history. He dared to bear the scars left from the shortcomings of humanity. He dared to bear the weight of the world and found himself faithful, capable, worthy.

The scars in Jesus’ flesh are the scars that he bore before becoming our Lord. He didn’t have to but he chose to. They are the scars he took on before eliminating death. They are the scars he accepted so he could proclaim love and not hate; life and not death; blessing and not cursing; a choice over damnation; light over darkness; good over evil; reunion over separation; fulfillment over emptiness; vindication over condemnation; creation over war; and liberation over captivity.

And when you didn’t think the scene could be any more majestic – Jesus speaks: “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And then he breathes the gift of the spirit into the room.

This is one of the greatest moments in all of scripture, Jesus commissions his disciples to carry the message of Jesus to everyone they meet. This is John’s version of the Great Commission.

And Thomas misses it. He isn’t there. The other disciples try to tell him about the gloriousness of Jesus, but Thomas isn’t having any of it. As far as he is concerned, this was one magnificent April Fools prank. He goes as far to say to the disciples, “Unless I touch Jesus, I will not believe.”

Thomas is hurt. He’s hurt at the loss of his friend Jesus who is supposed to be the Savior. God was supposed to intervene in Jesus’ life; he wasn’t supposed to die. Thomas believed this, and now he’s afraid. He hasn’t seen the risen Lord yet. As far as he knows, the Government killed Jesus and he’s next.

Thomas is blinded by his search for communion. He needs wholeness. He needs care. And he’s no longer willing to accept the faith of people who have experienced something he has not.

We are just like Thomas. When we feel hurt, abandoned, alone, oversaturated by life’s worries, hardships, and turmoil, we look out to the world for answers. And most of the time, God out in that world seems too small to help or too distant to care. Other people's experiences are not enough for us. We need our own. So our peace fades, our faith slides, and our hope stops. God no longer plays a part in balancing life’s equations for peace.

All of us reach a point when we realize someone else's faith is not good enough for us. We decide that unless we experience something too we will not believe. If this is you, hear me say, this is a valid feeling.

But if our story tells us anything, it says, “God shows God’s self to us when we need it the most. When we doubt it the most. When we seek it the most.”

Jesus revealed himself to Thomas; and he does us too - every single day.

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